Sappy Tree Root

Take a breath. Life is beautiful. The weeds, flowers, sunshine, our perfect hearts. The sensation of skin touching. Fresh and supple and together. Deep. Slow sex in the morning. Footsies. These are just moments. And in-betweens. And I just want to never stop loving like my life depends on because well my life does depend on it. ⁣

—TheeAmazingGrace

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#afrikanface #afrikanheritage #ancestors #blackjoy #blacklove #blackisbeautiful #changeisbeautiful #footsies #girlrillavintage #glow #ilovefeet #isaidthat #mende #nature #redsun #roothealer #sappytreeroot #sierraleone #sunshine #smiles #solopeace #soul #theeamazinggrace #tag #westafrican #westphilly

“Something to Do Dating” Sucks: There is Intimacy Without Sex

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This type of romantic perspective can be a complete waste of time and space. It’s exhausting and unpredictable.

Been officially single since summer of 2018 and frankly dating has been nothing smooth or inviting. In fact, it’s been down right debilitating.

We gamble with our physical, mental and emotional health. We don’t heed the earliest warning signs. Like when a motherfucker shows you who they are believe them, in real time. Ain’t no point in trying to change their minds about same sex relationships, or a woman’s right to choose, or that they shouldn’t beg when you clearly said NO, or the health benefits of veganism, or the devastating effects addiction had on your own family, or how sexy gray beards are verses dyed ones, or the fact that you had a right to know they had a wife before exchanging numbers.

Given each person I allowed into my sphere of awareness over the past 9 months both figuratively and literally has been a disaster. And they all had the nerve to thank me for bringing them peace? When all they brought me was BV and yeast infections. Thanked me for being a breath of fresh air? When all they could offer was cheap, smokey bars, fish sandwiches, well drinks and short, stubby, wrestlers neck penises. Ew! 🙄

Honestly, each one that I chose to entertain was to fill a void. To occupy space that was longing for anyone thing to fill it. For something to do, literally lol! I know it sounds fucked up and dysfunctional, but I can be that sometimes. Gotta recognize the signs of our own needs. How healing ourselves is an inside job. How we are the person we’ve been waiting for. How intimacy plays tricks because the fact is we live in the closeness of our own skin. How these romantic perspectives cling to us for our resources, but can’t expend a kind word or gesture without wanting something in return.

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I’ve learned that dating for reasons that don’t align with what I know I deserve is a trap. Like the times I dated when I was emotionally unavailable. It lowered my standards. I stopped filtering my heart. I did nonsensical things in the throes of TRASH ASS. I stopped heeding the warning signs of toxic behavior and inherent character flaws. I became harder and angrier. I stopped being empowered. I settled for shit that I’d never tolerate in any lifetime. I felt annoyed and over crowded. I felt taken for granted, depleted, unloved, unappreciated, depressed, exposed. My perspective was skewed.

And in the end I thank the creative and my ancestors for allowing my health to thrive and my piece of mind to survive. I made terrible choices because I missed sex and close talk. I thought I needed another body to make me feel alive and whole, yet I was born a whole person. Wholeness in all things is mine. I remember neglecting my needs before and the times I vowed not to anymore. Trust. Truth. Trust yourself. Tell yourself the truth. There is intimacy without sex.

Warmest,

Grace

Love don’t always taste familiar by Theeamazinggrace

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Bare. Vulnerable. I think of the many hands these thighs have touched. How my heart wrapped around a lover and then again. How my body and spirit poured into theirs. Reflecting on many of my past loves. How many seemed to carry that ole “familiar” love language. How our vibrations crashed into each other. Enamored. Wowed. That love could taste so sweet. Comforted knowing we’d been here, together before. How they took bits and pieces of my soul instead of my whole self. How depleted I felt at times. Like the euphoric feeling you get when you know someone you just met. Past lives ain’t always been kind. How that familiar feeling held me hostage, long after each relationship ended. The scars I’m still healing from just staying in it.

I’m learning that familiarity don’t always taste good. It doesn’t always mean lasting love. Healthy love. I realize that what is often familiar in a relationship stems from deep past experiences from our first human examples of what love looked like. Asking, what were some of the first examples of love we witnessed back then. In the grand plan, it might very well be the thing that kept us connected, comfortable, stuck, on edge, bitter, scared, terribly insecure, questioning our gut feelings, staying even when the relationship was killing us. How we didn’t choose to save ourselves the first time we became unrecognizable to ourselves, after the damage had been done.

Given some of my past romantic relationships, I correlated when new lovers reminded me of people, places and things from my past to “red flags” that were bright and bleeding, early on, but how I stayed anyway. I thought I could change them, or wait for them to change themselves. And I do recognize that familiarity or the “soul mate connection” isn’t always a negative thing. However, I think its worth exploring why we feel so strongly toward a person in the first place. Also, how important it is to sort out where that all comes from before diving head first into loves ocean floor. Familiarity don’t always equal happiness or longevity and could very well be a warning sign, pathway to a toxic experience or ending, a breading ground for excuse making, settling, domestic violence, or staying longer than we should, just to say we have someone that we believe we know better than themselves.

However, coming across this new interest is dope because they don’t remind me of anyone else. The irony is wild to me that I don’t recognize anything in them from any of my past loves. And while exciting is damn scary. And maybe that’s the jewel? Maybe that’s something I needed to experience this side of things? I tended to gravitate to familiar traits in people that were clearly toxic because parts of me were toxic too. Maybe it’s what I knew best of all. At any rate returning to the place where I hurt in them delayed my healing. I needed to transform my ability to make better choices for the healing I deserved.

I’m not going to lie, this new energy makes me uneasy, questioning, reserved. I can’t for-see where we’ll go. Could that be the difference? Makes me want to run. Got me searching for ways to count them out like their hands not being the shape I like lol! Yet, my heart knows better. I’ve learned to love with a filter over my heart now. I take my time. I don’t put all of my energy into “good feelings” alone. I feel my way through cautiously. I allow them to show me their power and grace. I allow them to pour into me all the love I give away. Loving this way is a new beginning in my life. A new opportunity to create a healthier frame of reference for my future. A new place to call home.

Mamas Nurture Grew My Love

Fully realized 😍! Thankful to the healthy first beginnings I shared with my young mother. How she (begrudgingly breastfed, cuddled, hugged, and sweet talked me) as I developed. The language was love in a less than favorable environment. A language, I translated to cultivate my own love experience. And no matter how the foundation bottomed out, the love she passed along did not. Gace face. Sharing for you mama. Rest well lady.

-TheeAmazingGrace

#afrikanculture #ancestry #girlrillavintage #nurturegrewmylove #nofilter #smilingformama #wcw

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Singer R. Kelly’s Child Transgender and Loving Life

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Singer R. Kelly's Child Transgender and Loving Life

“She was very proud of me. I was like, ‘Thank you, Mum, for accepting the fact that I’m a transgender.’ And same with my sister, she told me that she was proud of me and respects me by calling me handsome and calling me her little brother now, and I love her for that.’ One of the most non-judgmental articles out there about Jay.

Read article here-http://www.theroot.com/blogs/the_grapevine/2014/06/r_kelly_s_child_comes_out_as_transgender.html?wpisrc=mostpopular

The Spirit Never Truly Dies

An African proverb reads-“no one is ever truly dead until there is no one left among the living to remember him.” Thank you all for comforting each other and sharing in the memory of Maya Angelou’s transition today. My pop, Magdalen, and Layla nourished my body with delicious food and talks over dinner. Sonya honored her in a moment of silence at dance rehearsal and we dance and drummed in her memory. The love. That is the legacy I wish to leave. I love and love so hard. Rest in Power Mama Angelou. ❤ Gracie

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Food, friends and freedom: Nikki Giovanni remembers Maya Angelou

Photo credit: http://www.cnn.com/2014/05/28/living/maya-angelou-nikki-giovanni-identity/