The sting of betrayal

I think the easiest thing after a betrayal by someone we love is to question the validity and worth of ourselves in comparison to the betrayal. When in reality our worth isn’t tied up into anyone, but ourselves. That the betrayal likely started long before these moments. The betrayal might’ve been why we left in the first place. I found out on social media that a person I was recently romantically involved is getting married.

I’m sharing this because my heart is hurt. My heart is not hurt because they’re getting married. My heart is not hurt because I’m not happy for them. My heart is not hurt because I want to be in a relationship with them. My heart is hurt because I didn’t hear it from them. My heart is hurt because I thought so highly of this person. My heart is hurt because of the nature of our friendship, how intentional we were to remain. My heart is hurt because we respected each other. My heart is hurt because they didn’t grant me the opportunity to celebrate them. My heart is hurt because up until now we’ve been gently and lovingly transparent about EVERYTHING, even when it hurt.

For anyone feeling the sting of betrayal today, know that it has nothing to do with you. Know that our lives will go on, will thrive just as they always have. Know that we are enough during this transformative time. I recall my umi’s words, “We can wallow in self-pity for a little while, just don’t stay there”. We’re responsible to forgive the betrayal of ourselves for this person. We gotta create the closure we need. Take time and space.

In love and kindness, wishing them all the best.

—Grace

Rest in power Stanlee Allyn Holbrook

Stanlee’s death affects me deeply because so many black women and mothers aren’t given any love, support or breaks in this cruel world. We are left to our own everything. I think of my mother who had died an emotional death that she never recovered from long before she died physically.

My heart is broken today. A young mother of three completed suicide in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania two days ago. We all have a painful tune we carry. No one is exempt from a pain like this, the thought, a memory.

I took a mental health first aid course earlier this year. Most of the people in the class including myself used the term ‘committed suicide’ when recalling stories. However, as the instructor described that using the verb ‘commit’ when followed by an act is generally reserved for actions that many people may view as sinful or immoral. Someone commits burglary or murder or rape or perjury or adultery or crime or something else bad.  Suicide is sad, for those left behind yes, but the person who completes suicide is not committing a crime or sin. Rather the act of suicide almost always is the product of mental illness, intolerable stress, or trauma.

Though taboo we need more love in this world. More love. ❤️

#afrikanface #blacklivesmatter #blackmothersmatter #mentalhealthisreal #noshameinmentalillness #ripstanleeallynholbrook #weneedmorelove

Calm is a whole new vibe when you ‘buy black’

Calm is a whole vibe when you #buyblack. ⁣😍

As a black Afrikan entrepreneur myself 🙏🏾 @odundefestival for the abundance and having us all in one space! We need more.⁣ 🖤

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Black Afrikans. We are the miracle! @odundefestival always fruitful and reminiscent of home.⁣

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Shout out @thecarterbrand_ & @dohanyc for some of the dopest, quality black T-shirts I purchased in a minute! And the customer service is something to write home about. 🙌🏾

And to the beautiful energy the river walk is. Spiritual white for ancestors. Intentions. Manifestation of love. All that love in one space. Shared.

—TheeAmazingGrace

⁣#afrikanface #ancestors #ancestortones #blacklove  #blackjoy #blackeconomics   #blackownedbusiness #blackwealthmatters #buyblackowned #calmingcorner #community #culture #culturevibes #girlrillavintage #happynewyear #healblack #mende #myson #odundefestival #odende2019 #orishas #oshun #philadelphia #offering #riverwalk #roothealer #sierraleone #theeamazinggrace #three #tree #westafrican #yoruba

We are home.

You are virtual. You can change your landscape. -don Miguel tells us⁣

⁣And # 4 reminds us of the safety & security of home. It connects our mind, body and spirit to physical structure. We are the foundation. We are home. Home is wherever we are. ⁣— TheeAmazingGrace

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⁣#afrikanface #afrikaunite #ancestorsspeak #ancestortones #blacklove #cosmos #divinity #four #girlrillavintage #healblack #homeiswhereyouare #mende #numerology #numbersandme #odundefestival #odende2019 #philadelphia #roothealer #sierraleone #theeamazinggrace