So many people blame others for repeated hurt feelings from intimate relationships. For instance, I was dating this person several months back. My gut coaxed me to resist. Then to rebuttal all I stood to protect, they laid on thick loving gestures, delicious sex, stimulating conversations. Even sparked ideas of being in love only to sever the cord. I cursed and blamed them to hell. However, I remembered that I felt those things because my spirit was in need of those things. Those things felt so good for the time and I wanted more. that’s why I was hurt. I wanted to heal the void with a temporary fix if that makes since? And while there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable to intimacy, it is our responsibility to be clear about our needs before diving heart first. I wasn’t clear, so I was hurt. People seem to play when they have something to entertain them. I’m learning to entertain my own love, a journey I’m committed to take. -gnb

Free Indeed 🙂

It’s sad and hurtful that people use violence in their words, actions, thoughts to hurt other people. It’s an epidemic that needs to cease. I believe in the value of all bodies. It’s outrageous when people resort to something one is naturally to try and hurt them. I remember being called ‘black girl’ as a white kids way of insulting me as a teenager. I thought why are they trying to insult me with who I am, something that I had no control over. That’s when I stopped taking it personal and started fighting back with questions like is that the best you’ve got, is that all you can say? I realized that those folks who were not of color likely wanted to be just like the black that they were attempting to assault me with. That redefined my experience against racism. Body shaming is the same. And the despite that people can alter their bodies, some people will never look any different even if they tried. Shit! So why not embrace the love one is. All shapes, body types, abilities etc?

Stop it with the subliminal shaming, the “Don’t you think you should eat a little less?”, the “I think that shirt would flatter your fuller figure more”, the “Have you weighed yourself recently?”. And stop resorting to the cheapest, most shallow, and sadly overused comments in the book: “fat”, or “ugly”, to insult someone.

Kindly,
Gracie