To trust u with my heart is impossible.
It’s triggering to be writing these words.
It’s triggering not to hear back from u.
It’s triggering to have patience when u disappeared so long.
It’s triggering to have prepared for a date only to learn it skipped your mind.
Its triggering to think of the peace I lost after giving so much love to u.
It was strange hearing “will u marry me” when I have never experienced the full joy of your .
Why I love 📸? Many aren’t aware that I grew up in abject poverty, was a ward of the court, am the eldest of 9 on my mother’s side, motherless and fatherless, survived childhood trauma, homelessness, and late enrollment in school. So, in most cases it’s not difficult to understand why I cherish images so much.
I once had a person violate my trust by deleting images from my cellphone without my knowledge. It hurt because it was not only my personal property, they betrayed my trust with impunity and told me they were doing it for me. I no longer have contact with that very toxic person, yet the symbolism wasn’t isolated. Made me recognize how important it is to protect my heart and sanctity at all costs, and to cherish memories I create.
They never cared enough to ask me why images were so important to me, so it likely wouldn’t have made a difference.
Yet, they’ll never know how I didn’t take school pictures because we were too poor, or how evil my grandmother was about it, ripping the packages up in front of me. How I took my first school picture at 15 and got a camera that same year. How we would visit mama in prison during the holidays and took pictures that mean even more now that her and two of my brothers are gone. And other unspoken truths.
I take so many photos to preserve my visual legacy. Because while the memories are sacred, the images are living proof that I was there. An irreplaceable, visual poem that chronicles one of the many love languages of my life.
#cherisheverymoment #collegedays #girlrillavintage #imageslive #livingproof #lincolnuniversitypa #mccally #memoriesdontlivelikepeopledo #tbt #takeapictureitlastslonger
“Nothing anyone does is because of you. Once you have this awareness, and you do not take it personally, compassion and understanding will lead you to forgiveness.” @donmiguelruiz.
And forgiveness allows me to stand clear of dat ass lol! Gotta protect our joy.
womanism. flawless-nappylocs. radical. black. woman-problems. 📸 @ozmynoree #afrikanface #blacklove
#girlrillavintage #girlrillavintageofcultchaᙠeforetheboat #imstillblack #imstillblackproject #locs #mytimemonday #nappy #natty #queer #regal #selflove #tag #theeamazinggrace #awareness #artheals #begentle #dontbeadoormat #girlrillavintage #garlicforvampires #hugsandkisses #loveyourself #mytimemonday #protectyourpeace #tag #theeamazinggrace #throwback
Ordered Akara, Nigerian black-eyed pea fritters @upohar_llc today. My first bite was full bodied. I tasted “black licorice” from the fennel coursing throughout. Fennel, coupled with deep fried, vegan goodness, I kept thanking my ancestors. First for activating my DNA. Second for allowing my physiological memory to recall such a delicious cuisine. I almost told myself I didn’t like it, but then I knew better. Yes, ancient Afrikans enjoyed black eyed-peas. No, we ain’t put no damn swine in it lol! Taste-heed. 😍#akara #blackeyedpeas #fennel #fritters #girlrillavintage #theeamazinggrace #nomoreextremitiesandentrails #peppersauce #upohar #vegan
Remember. Life. Before. The boats. My people. We come from someplace. I wrote this for y’all. Full poem video below. Shout out to Gerri McCritty of @pavaagallery for djembe percussion and @napollonia for 🎥! 🖤 #blackallyearround #blackhistory #blackexperience #contemporaryart #firstfriday #pastandpresent
There has never been a time I’ve stopped thinking. I may think more or think less, but I do. I intuit how not to overburden. My nerves. Bones. Eyelids. To think is essential. And most times a powerful privilege. Keeps me alive. Like the heart beat. Thankful to one radical thinker Dr. King. Your contribution is priceless. For complaining when it hurt. For thinking the change. For denting the backbone of a system. For the will. Happy birthday! 🎉