“My aunt used to give me one of these, tell me to get myself 50 cents worth of something, and then use the change to get her some ‘loosies’. I think you could get 5 loose cigarettes, for 50 cents around that time in Philly. I also remember watching my mother miscarrying a baby on one of my birthdays. I think it was 1989. It was spring and warm outside in North Philadelphia. We lived in the Patterson Street Projects on the19th floor. Just moments before, I saw her standing in the middle of the floor, bloody baby dangling between her legs. The sun filled the room, so I could see everything. I was scared. And she said, “Gace, help mama. Please help.” I helped her in the only way I knew how. She kept thanking me, telling me that I was her strong girl. Then she gave me a stack of stamps all bloodied. She said, “mama’s gonna rest, but go to the store with your brothers and ya’ll get whatever ya’ll want. Happy birthday Gace! Mama loves you.” She went next door to get high with the neighbors. She always got high with them. The blood was dried up on her hands, pants and shirt too. She smiled as she looked back before leaving with a concerned look and voice said, “ya’ll better come right back! Take this bat in case somebody try to mess with ya’ll down them 19 flights.” I was so embarrassed cause all of the money had so much blood on them. Me and my brothers were so excited cause the world of junk food seemed at our disposal. We felt rich. I told the Chinese man we called Mr. Lee that it was my birthday and that I was going to buy everything. Mr. Lee was reluctant, but didn’t dare question why the money was so bloody. He accepted all of my stamps and asked me was that all. He was one that I remembered being kind to me and my brothers.” -Gracie